So know that this post is a TMI (too much information) post. It is about girly stuff and gross stuff. Don’t read it if you don’t want to learn way too much about me and a thing called the Bartholin Cyst.
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Last warning.
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So beginning of August I felt I had a bruised area on my crotch. It felt a little like I was cooter punched, not that I know what that really feels like (thank goodness). Next day it hurt a bit more. Third day I noticed there was swelling on the outer labia. I worried there was a bug bite. I’ve gotten that before. A bug bite on the innards of my giblets is so not fun. There was no itch though, just uncomfort and soreness. Fourth day I looked up on the internets “swollen labia” and came across many different posts about the Bartholin Cyst. Sounded like if that’s what I had, I would have to get this thing lanced. Great. Just what I needed for not having insurance. There was suggestion for warm compress and sitz baths so I went to the store the next day and got a sitz.
I went to Planned Parenthood a day later and they said “sure, looks like a Bartholin to me!” and told me they couldn’t do anything for me, but to try to sitz and hopefully it’d go away on its own. She did a pap to make sure I didn’t have chlamydia, since apparently that’s one of the causes (other causes are “it just happens”) and I left with nothing new.
All the posts I read were these girls whining about this horrid pain making them walk like ducks. I thought they were just lame wimpo’s or else my pain tolerance was really high, because while it kept swelling, there was just discomfort. Well, went to L.A. and five days later it was super swollen and I was walking like a duck. I was dying. It hurt so bad.
Siss brought me to urgent care and the doctor came in and said “what’s up?” and I said “I think I have a Bartholin Cyst” and he told me all about what I’d already read and then said he’d lance it. They didn’t have the catheter for drainage (lovely), so he’d just shove gauze in it and let it drain. I let my sister look at it and she told me it was “pretty big” with a disgusted little look. I guess my pain tolerance is pretty big.
So he gives me a shot of lidocaine and says “little pinch.” Yeah. Little. More like massive. He waited less than a second to cut in and I kicked the stirrup foot holder things and shook. Good thing I brought Jim (the bear) with me. I strangled that poor bear. I think he shoved the packing gauze in with a mallet or an ice pick, not sure, but he sure didn’t bother being gentle. Or I was just really swollen. Either way, lidocaine still hadn’t kicked in. He told me to leave the gauze in there for “2-3 weeks” and that if it fell out it would be ok. My sister goes “wait, you mean change it twice a day, right?” He goes “no, it’s ok” “No… change it. Twice a day.” He repeats “no, it’ll be fine.” I waddle out of the office with a vicodin and a motrin in my system and Jie takes me back to her buddys’ home.
Two days later we’re home and I call the OB/GYN that I saw when I had insurance. I talk to the assistant who agrees “yes, sounds like the gauze would just absorb the pus” and says she’ll consult with the GYN and get back to me. GYN calls back in five minutes and goes “is your sister there with you?” “Yes?” “Yes, I agree with her. That thing should be changed out twice a day. That’s disgusting to leave it in there. No crusty gauze. Have her replace that. Are you ok with that?” “yes” “OK.”
So popped a vicodin, changed it out, and learned how to do it myself. I was told it would take three weeks to heal. Great. Three weeks of stuffing a pocket in my labia. Love it.
Thank goodness siss works at the hospital so I could get some goods. Pharmacy doesn’t sell stuff like packing gauze and packing sticks (or hatchets that the doctor used…), not sure what other people have done in the past.
Well, today I tried to pack it and I couldn’t get it to go. So… I’m almost healed!!!! I’m so excited. I was thinking that was fast, but sure enough it was about two weeks. I went to urgent care 8/15 and today is 9/1.
Being a girl is retarded. I hate it. Often.
At least it’s in the present… how much would that suck if it was like the 1800’s.
On Alaskan mosquitoes:
Jenny: I want to go to Alaska.
Me: I wanted to, until I heard of the mosquitoes. There’s apparently a LOT.
Jack: Really?
Ping: And they’re huge. HUGE.
Jack: Like how huge?
Ping: HUGE
Jack: So like mosquito hawk huge, but they suck blood?
Ping: Yeah.
All: eeeew
Me: But… How are they so big? I mean, Taiwan are still small.
Ping: Yes, well, Chinese are small.
Getting ready to go for road trip to Utah (13 hours)
Me: So do you think you’ll want me to drive at all?
Ping: sure, probably.
Me: oh ok, let me get my butt seat.
Diane: Booster seat?
Ping: I wasn’t gonna say anything…
Me: eff you guys…
2:53a - So 2a rolled around and everyone kinda thought “hunh. Kinda hungry…” and we thought and realized we last ate at 4p. Decided we’d stop at Reno to nom. Nothing like a Casino dinner at 2am. So we’re in Nevada… I guess it’s not really 3:53a anymore. Back to California time. I’m like a dopey tourist. For some reason I’m extremely fascinated with the snow fall. It’s gorgeous. I tried getting pics of flakes and I can’t figure out how to manually focus the camera. Laaame.
Boys are putting chains on. I guess the 2.5hr trip is going to be more like 3-5. Oh, well. Not like I’m in a hurry.
8:09p - that was a great trip.
It was all negativity and doubt until the speakers started…
I’m full of guilt, excitement, and apprehension. I have to quit my job. Well, jobs. I know I’ll succeed. I’ve known the products, I’ve known the company, I just wasn’t sure of myself. I’m sure of it now though, and know I can do it… But not without time and flexibility to travel. Boss-Chris has just been the best boss ever… No where ever would I ever imagine I’d get a boss so flexible and caring. Well, except for when I’m my own boss. Nyuk nyuk nyuk. I digress.
So I’m excited to get started. I’m excited to start approaching people. I’m excited to get shot down so I can improve. I’m excited to get positive feedback and start building my team. I’m excited to be on my way to not just be out of debt, but really be finalcially free.
I’m terrified of getting rejected. I’m terrified of quitting my job. I’m terrified of approaching people. I’m trerrified to face my personal fears, go above, beyond, and improve myself.
I feel guilty for leaving my boss. I feel he’s done so much for me: given me the job, flexible hours, health benefits. But I’m realizing now, he’s been nothing but honest to me, and vice versa. I need to just give him notice so we can get an acceptable replacement trained and I can progress in my life.
I’m moving forward.
Trav and Chelsea decided they want to move out, so there’s their house for rent. While I want to jump on it, it’s another concern of extra expense while I’m shifting… But… Then again… It’d be another boost for me to really get my act together. It’s all truth that people who have a back-up cushion will never give it 100%. I’m determined to give it all, to let it go and get paid for what I work for, so I can give back to those who have helped along the way.
Mushy mush and squish, I really am fortunate.
And through all these fears, my Chris is supportive:
“We need to discuss stuff… I think house sounds great, but I am really also realizing I need to quit my job(s) and focus. I can get to my current income within a few months if I work correctly…
I’m scared, but know I can do it.
Sent via BettyBerry”
“You just have to decide to.� I’m here for support (financial and otherwise ).� Commit to it and I’m behind you 100%”
How did I luck out like this? When I doubt myself and start losing hope, Chris pulls me back and sets me straight.
It’s going to be a long and rocky ride… But I’m jumping in front and taking the wheel.
2:26p- Soooo… Nothing going on today… Drove out here and booked the hotel, got the early check in… And the shit doesn’t start until tomorrow. Lovely.
Starting to lose it. Getting very cranky. People are irritating me. I’ve got Randy Newman in my party (she feels the need to state everything that’s going on, eg “oh, look, mountain.” “Oh look, it’s raining.” “Oh look, dog has fur.”)
We went to Ross. The woman was courteous, but useless. I went ahead and bought these ginormous bags so I wouldn’t need to use plastic. As I walk up, she takes a slightly touched bag and throw it out. “Hi, find everything ok?” “Yeah. Two transactions, please. Do you have scissors for these?” Since the bags were zip tied. “Yes, ok. You want a bag for these?” Points at the bags. “No, no bag. I am using these bags for my items.” “Oh, ok. So a bag?” Shit.
I tell her the next items are separate. She rings me, then puts receipt in bag. Goes “oh yes. Ok! So, find everything ok, yes? This is it?” Ohmigod, really? “Uh… Yeah.” She gets the items and puts them in a bag. “No. No bag. I don’t need a bag.” “Oh! Oh right, yes. Thank you.” Takes them out, puts them in my bag. “Is that all?” Mothereffin “yes.”
Really? Shit.
I should take a nap but am not tired. I should go to the gym. Elliptical a mile or seven. Super short shorts, a sweater and clogs are totally normal gym wear, right?
6:08a - Got the chains and the snow cleared up 100%. Sweeeeet. Got my touristy picture with the billowy fluffy stuff in the air before it stopped, so I’m all good. Stopped at ‘Bucks and bought the store (got a new tumbler since 47 of them isn’t enough) while Ping booked the room. The place has a late check-in… 2p. Lame. Oh, well… 2.5 star place for $70 a night. Not bad, I think. Thanks, Priceline Negotiator!
The sky is getting bright and it’s way pretty out. Very clean. Passing through Elburz, Nevada. The city has a z in its name. Cooooool.
Picked up a sleep mask at the Wal-Mart *hiss* and some Bonine and Sea Bands for Xing Ping. She’s resting, Jack’s passed out in the back, Betty Au-Ee’s playing “Big E” on her iPhone and Oing’s drivin’. Now that I’ve had some tea, stinky spinach wrap and vanilla scone, I think I’ll put the mask on and try to rest.
4:16a- Holy shit snow! Wow, I’ve never seen snow like this before… We’re in the middle of Nevada now. I woke up to snow pelting at us. It’s almost like Star Wars. Well, like the credits I’ve seen, considering I’ve never seen it.
We’re starting to lose the road now. Traveling about 10mph. We’re turning around to get chains. Thank goodness the boys have dealt with snow before. Yeeeeesh.
Got a slight video of it, but couldn’t capture it well. We’re pulling over now. So exciting, beautiful, yet terrifying. Neck’s tense. O.o
Jack: So is this a ‘blizzard’?
Ping: Um no… This is ’snow falling.’
Gotta love being Californian.
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5:08a - snow totally cleared. Still snow on the ground, but it isn’t billowing down. We had stopped for chains, but the stop only had chains for big rigs. We’re still going to stop by the *shudder* Wal-Mart *hiss* to get some to be on the safe side.
Strangely, we’ve been the only car going East for some time now. One big rig has passed. All cars are going West. Well, arriving at the stop now. We’re all totally wired awake now.
1:21a - well, this’ll throw a damper into things. For Nu Skin there is a training in Utah every month called Team Elite University (TEU). I’ve been meaning to go since August… Many things have hindered this trip. Finally going, but it’s a road trip. Group I’m going with first was thinkin “we’ll just take the Civic!” I’m like… Peace man, no way. 5 people? On a 10+ hour trip? Fuck that shit.
Mama spoke up for my back and me and was all “yo bitches, stop with the stingies, you need a van, yo!” Thank goodness.
Turns out the trip is 12+ hours. I had a Betty retard moment and thought we bordered Utah. What? Nevada? Oh yeah. Nevada.
We were supposed to leave 8p. Ended up actually leaving at 9:45p. We’re just outside Reno now.
Pretty bummed I forgot my eye mask. hard to sleep with all the lights. I remember sleeping so easily. Always. Maybe it’s the stress that this sleep is my night’s sleep, not just a passing nap. Maybe it’s my eyelids getting thinner from my old age.
So we finally get going and the driver decides to short cut it dad-style and take the windiest road after Lumbart. Passenger got carsick in 10 minutes. We stopped four times and she finally yakked a mile before the freeway. Got on 80 and it’s been relatively smooth since.
Stopped at a Travel Center for pees, gas, Wendy’s and Dramamine for sicky. Poor thing. I’m glad I have my Sea Bands. I remember when I’d force myself to be carsick as a kid. (Dad would get seriously pissed when I got sick. You know. ‘Cuz I did it voluntarily.)
Smelled the Wendy’s and needed fries. Damned hunger seriously increases exponentially once midnight kicks in. It’s how I got all fat a while back. I’m sure giving in and fry munching will be regretted later.
Back on the road and I’m totally awake. Total crap. Can’t get comfortable and the back’s stiffening. Neck’s what’s hurting.
Well, staring at the bright phone won’t help… Off I go.
hard to sleep with all the lights. I remember sleeping so easily. Always. Maybe it’s the stress that this sleep is my night’s sleep, not just a passing nap. Maybe it’s my eyelids getting thinner from my old age.