october 12, 2000; thursday


11:54pm

all clean :)almost tomorrow, but not quite. went to alberson's and stuff and got ice cream and milk and ca's pictures. good stuff. then watched some tv. haven't in a while. took more pics. having fun now. nathan's enjoying it :p tee hee. and here's a pic just for you, chris. yup. the one i was supposed to have done in the beginning. a bit slow, but here it is. i'm so awake. gah. this is horrible! why am i still awake!!!! gaaaaaah! it's all nathan's fault. yup. that's it. nathan's fault. grr. i hope i get my mail tomorrow. justin wrote me letters and everything with the cd's. i'm excited. i guess there'll be no excuse for not writing my paper after this. pooey. oh well. i gotta do it anyway. the weather's warming up again. i guess it's ok. as long as it's not dreary but not rainy. or else mongo wongo hotty wotty. like me. cuz then that's bad. tzz. ow baby, that's hot. uh huh. anyway.

i think i'll go now. maybe start my math hw. i'm going to see "stitch" with am tomorrow and then come back saturday to party and then sunday... paper. then monday... turn in paper... and... college will start totally for me. i gotta get on this homework thing... it's bad. i know. don't need to tell me. and i'll watch myself. i know. not too much to drink. uh huh. i know i know i know. :) *yawn* ok i lied. i didn't really. but i'm trying to inspire myself. d.doogie and my cow were in bad bad positions today. ca and i had to separate them and put them on different beds again. it was quite disturbing. indeedidoo. the bathroom smells gross. *yawn* oh yay! i really yawned :) i'll start my math now.

6:40pm

i see ya baby... shakin' that ass...ok, could i be more retarded. look how much i write here. anyway. ma called. said jie's doing better. so i'm happy. she has her kitty and is better. she has a good counselor she likes too. you know, the bitterness going on between noah and everything is just ridiculous. the point of going to college was to let go and enjoy. i think i'll do that now. go to the party saturday, have fun, and start with college. crap i should do my paper. eh... i'll do it next week. when i start college. my eyes are killing me. ok. yeah. let me just pick at my EYE. ow. yeah, betty. CONTACT. not eye. ok. better. ah. so nice. ow. burn. *tear* ok... *blink* getting better... ok. neil slept all day today. and then again. i guess needed rest from doing a lot of... um... nothing. still up from 8am. go me. 4 hours of sleep. me? mania? naaaaaah. i need sleep. i'm so going insane. bursts of laughter from the STUPIDest things. oh well. doesn't matter. i have a bear butt. everything's ok.

5:25pm

scariness:
Horoscope for Thursday, October 12, 2000

You might be inclined to keep your thoughts and ideas to yourself a bit today, and it’s a great time to work on any kind of research project that requires solitude and concentration. You might also be thinking about making some dietary changes for the benefit of your health. And scheduling an appointment with your doctor for a check-up probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.

i just started a painting project the other day. i also went out to eat today at the dc for the first time in like three weeks. and... counselor appt. eek! weirdness. anyway. just thought it was odd yet neato and interesting. um... yes... lets have amorette write 10 pages on behalf of noah... anyway. these journal things just keep going ooooooff. chris' most recent one was about not bitching about the journal too. it's a venting for the writer. not for anyone else. heh. greatness. it's quite silly actually. everything's silly. especially monkeys.

3:23pm

hee hee. funny.
jack and jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water
stupid jill, forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.

12:47pm

i threw today. it was good. i made an appt for the drop in (ironic, eh?) clinic and i'll be seeing a counselor at 1pm. turns out kimmy knows nothing of anything. and what i think is the best? noah deletes all the things about me from before and my picture when he finds out kimmy "knows" about the site. well she doesn't. but i still think it's funny that suddenly past entries are gone.

last nite was great. or... early this morning. nathan was being hillarious again. wanted pics and stuff and so ca and i went zany taking pictures :) we had fun. he got pics of our room, me "sleep"ing (posed falling off the bed and everything), computer, and stuff. i ended up staying up till 3:30am not being able to sleep. it sucked greatly. i got winamp tho and a million skins. uh... yeah. justin fell asleep studying :( but i woke up to messages on my screen and it was ok.

zach icqed me today and said he misses me. it was odd. it's his birthday.

i should go eat. i gotta get over the not eating thing. it's not good. i gotta get zapped. messages gotta be sent to me saying i'm fine, and to sleep. and do hw. and study. and also get up for my damn classes. gah. i hate being all messed up. my head hurts. got my contacts in today. i'll go now. find something to eat, counselor, and then oral interp. maybe jason'll be looking at me again. not that i care. ;) neil says i bug him now. so i'll leave him alone. i'm not as vulnerable anymore. so i'm fine at nite. just a bit lonely. stupid hormones. ok ok, why am i still here. leaving!

9:10amm

i'm up! i'm up!OH! OH! look who's up at 9:10am!!! me!!! oh yeah. uh huh. who da man? who da man? bet... oh wait... no... i've been outdone. justin's the man. this time. ;) no time now to edit it and make it perty but... read on...:...:
noah's jounal
10/11/00- 2:00am ... i ready betty's diary thingy today, this one she wrote at night. maybe its late i dont get what its really saying. i think she is assuming i am trying to mend things with kimmi. i am not afraid to be alone but i dont think i have to prove that or explain myself. these guys i am studying with and the occasional messages by amorette on my guestbook are good enough for me to get through my days. i do care about kimmi and betty, thats the truth, i will write it from now on. no holding back. i am with kimmi, but yes kimmi if you read this i attempted to get back with betty or fix what i broke. or some shit like that. i know kimmi knows about this site since her friend IMed yesterday saying so. well blah, kimmi is really the most perfect gf anyone can ask for. no shit, hellaz hot. true dat=) sweet,caring, super nice, loves children which i really like. caring, and is seriously just a dope person. but i had something with betty first and how i broke betty so suddenly for kimmi just didnt fit right. i didnt even imagine these consequences. i have been really to busy to talk to kimmmi about this whole situation. ideally, since i am just seriously doing so well like karma or some shit, just in general besides losing my voice from arguing while studying i feel good. i would love to be with kimmi, but trying to get with betty is kinda scandalous from a "cool guy" like myself..hehe. anyways i dont deserve either. well i think i have potential to be a good bf to either at DIFFErent times. or different lives ... this says nothing about betty or kimmi or what is going to happen in the future. but this late i really dont care. if i dont make sense i dont care its my journal, nite readers!

Date: October 12, 2000
Name: Justin
Email: dontbother@none.com
Home: Page
City: Saratoga
State: CA

Comments: Dude, you're seriously messed up, you know that? First of all, how can you NOT imagine consequences such as the ones you are facing? You know. It's true. You really can't be alone. Listen to yourself, and what you write. You say that Betty's assuming that you're trying to mend things w/ kimmi, but you say you're not. Yet you say kimmi is the most wonderful gf in the world, that you would love to be with kimmi, BUT trying to get with Betty is 'kinda' scandalous from a "cool guy" (cough cough) like yourself. WAKE UP. So you go with one girl..find another..then find you want the 1st one back, but then you can't, so now you wish to be with the "most perfect gf anyone could ask for." You're full of it. You keep saying that you don't deserve either of them, and I'd have to say that that's correct. But even though you say \ type it, I don't think you really understand.

gooooooo justin! you're great :)

[View My Guestbook] [Sign My Guestbook]