october 16, 2000; monday


9:22pm

i just took pictures of all my art. i think i'll upload them now too. uh huh. ok. uploaded. i'm feeling better. jittery tho. my pulse is 95. it should be under 90. eh heh. not good. my mom says it's withdrawal from the stuff i stopped taking. the sleeping stuff? yeah. my back still hurts. oh well. yup. ok. i'm gonna go now. no more to write...

12:29pm

i feel like i'm going to puke my guts out. stupid pills. guys, i hate you. i think the guys should get put on birth control. we shouldn't have to deal with it. i couldn't fall asleep until 2am cuz my back was killing me. i asked jeremy to give me a massage and he mashed my shoulders, not my lower back which is the problem. oh well. helped a little. still hurting tho. woke up at 8am to ca's alarm. i wanted to get up and turn it off but then i was seriously nautious. she got up... and turned the volume down. um... ok. well 8:30am comes around and i'm laying there trying to get myself to get up and turn off the damn alarm. then this HUGE wave of nausia comes over me and i had to run to the bathroom. i did that precurser to puking and spit like a gallon of spit out but didn't really PUKE. but i almost started heaving. it sucked. now i'm just... yahg. so i'm eating a powerbar, hopefully that'll fill my stomach. i'm so not hungry.

friday wasn't too great. poor am... left chico at 4pm and drove till 10pm. i'm retarded and didn't know how to get home so we took the wrong freeway an hour and a half in bumper to bumper traffic the wrong way. ended up in Cameron Park. randomness. finally got to the cactus. julian and yasemin were there. sucked. poor am had a memory attack and julian ofcourse had girlfriend. assmonkey. so am was miserable the whole time. :( we didn't get up till 2pm the next day to come back. stopped at a mall at p... something. i don't remember where it was. oh! stoneridge. finally left at 6pm after buying the mall. got here at 7:45pm where am had to speed her ass back to chico for a performance at 10pm. heh. she made it tho. that's good. drove 115mph to get there by 9:55pm. eh heh. freaky deaky.

party that nite was good. i didn't drink much... jello shot, two siplets of zima (SEROIUSLY nasty stuff), and a few sips of jungle juice. then water and rootbeer. :) hard core!!! oh yeah. that's ca and me. there was a "rookie" drunk there. freshman named doug from san diego. he was hilarious. but ca and i think he was faking it. then there was this sereiously attractive senior from chico who was a brother to the frat (zbt)... erik with a 'k.' i think he was totally drunk but he was hitting on me and at the end asked for my number and... stuff. yup. betty's a slut monkey. ca was all "uh... ok ew." and was laffing hysterically when i said myself that i was a slut monkey. she was gonna say it but decided not to cuz it'd be rude. but i said it for her. yup. i'm bad. oh well. doubt he'll ever call me. there was also this mongo tallio 6'9" guy named paul. he was huuuuge.

shit. class in 10 minutes. still haven't written my paper. i think that's why i wasn't able to sleep. guilt/stress trip on myself. crap. i'm so screwed. well i got 100% on my math quiz today... made it almost in time. i was 5 minutes late. but i made it. not 20 minutes late either. i so don't wanna go to english... *sigh* well i'm going now. later.

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