november 27, 2000; monday



i came "home" saturday. took the 5:45pm train... i missed the bus cuz i was eating and shannon was nice enuf to drive me to the station. she's a sweetie. she and jeremy are so cute. can't say it enuf. :] yeah. so i went home and mommy came to get me at 9pm. went back and i was a pissy little thing.

tuesday i went to see dr. kanchan and got a new med and started tapering off the remeron. i have another appt. tomorrow. i think this med. works. i'm not AS pissy. i prolly need to up the med a bit. dr. kanchan says i need to be on two meds... an upper and a stabilizer. yeah. and that i have bi-polar 2. 1 is the one that's from depression to hyper-mania. me? depression to hypOmania. yeah. so instead of going way up there to hyper i just barely go over the 1/2 way line to hypo and get a bit buzzy and hyper then fall back to low depression. good stuff eh? right. you wish you were me even more now. admit it.

wed. nite jie got me and we stayed at daddy's and thrusday morning drove down to l.a. at 8am. i drove for and hour and a half... the crappy scary part with those wall things that aren't really walls and then if you accidentally mess up? oops. you've fallen down a cliff. bad driver. bad. heh... i was freaking out the whole time. then jie decides to drive again. after i finish. gah.

thanksgiving was good. most of the cousins were there 'cept john-john's part... i think... is that it? yeah, i think most everyone else was there. uncle bobby has to go to surgery so they couldn't drive down. :( i'll just... visit a lot now :] we played "cranium" and had fun... kinda. i was still pissy and wasn't happy.

friday we went to visit jill and amy-mom's mom and i saw ashley for the first time and angela again. angela's still cute as ever. ashley's so chubby!! 6 weeks and 13 lbs. insanity i tell you. :) eats all the time. like me. heh.

oh yes. i'm 115 lbs. now. formerly was the only one in my family without cellulite and now i have it. sure you wanted to know. that's why i said it. yup. chunky thighs. eeeew. no more swimsuits for me... course it's winter... shaddup.

drove back on saturday. jie drove to solvang and i drove the rest back... about four and a half hours? yeah. then jie drove to sac where i stayed. neil wasn't back yet. i was sad. jon was there and eric came by. eric made me promise to come back to visit them and then jon spent the nite. i started packing. jon was sexiled and slept on ca's bed.

we were gonna leave at 10am to avoid packing but jon turned off my alarm (oops :p )and i didn't get up 'till 11am when daddy called and then i called jie at 12pm. she came over and then we re-packed (she's gonna start a packing school and make the big bucks. really. she's the best packer in the world) and FINALLY left at around 4pm. that's when we went to davis to meet mommy who drove me back. when we got to saratoga avenue mommy was calling me and i finally woke up. she felt sick. turns out her blood sugar was 27. yeah. for you non diabetic people... average is 90-100. people pass out at around 50 or lower and 300 or higher. my mom's gone down to 20 once and then up to 500 (differnt times.) she's so gonna kill her liver and brain... i don't know how she managed to drive so low. anyway. we went to eat then i got to daddy's and unpacked and... yup.

today was job training. i sat at a computer and practice register and learned to use a register and some basic things. and there's the over view.

***end of overview***

neil seemed really upset that i left left. he thought i was just coming back for a week or so. not for the next 2+ months. oops. :[ i feel kinda bad. i miss him. my side of the room i so empty without my computer and cereal boxes and stuff. but i left my comforter there. i hope uncle bobby's surgery goes well. it's scary how fast it happened. i know it's gonna happen to my mommy too. she doesn't take care of herself and she thinks it's ok that she just shrugs things off like her diabetes when she can't. a body can only take so much. and jie and i aren't there and uncle phil doesn't take good enuf care of her and she can't even take care of herself and... i just worry.

i think i'll go take out my contacts now and shower. ofcourse that means in an hour or two. betty time. you know. yeah. well that's it for now.

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