february 16, 2001; friday


8:04pm

it's friday and i spent it all in ceramics. yup. 9:30am (got up late) till 6pm. uh huh. then i went and got a to go meal thing with ca at the dc and now i'm back in the dorm. so sad. i know. yesterday i was totally pmsing and i was in so much pain i could barely move and i was all sad and droopy and lonely and i really needed a hug and so i was stupid and went to neil... and he grabbed my head and pushed me away. yeah. he could'a atleast just stood there. i was so miserable. so i went back to the room and cried for an hour. then i showered and then sat around being sad. and finally fell asleep.

in ceramics today i met andre. he likes country. i was going to go insane with it. so i changed it to my cd of lifehouse. i love lifehouse. i also like the song by princessa called "i won't forget you." yeah. noah. if you don't have napster i'll find another way to give it to you. it's your song from me. princessa, i won't forget you. anyway. after three and a half hours of jabbering and not understanding each other cuz the acoustics in the ceramics room are horrid and over the wheel and music nothing could be heard but mumbles, i found out he's 18 (and he thinks he's "too old"... i was thinking he was hitting on me and he's like 30 or something after he said he's too old... whatever. pish.) and... yeah. that's it. and then he asked for my number before i left. hee hee. fun. mean people locked the bathroom and room where our stuff is put and so i couldn't put my clay or ceramics clothes and tools away, but then i left and andre got the key from the police station and he put 'm away for me. neato.

chinese speaking john came in with a chick and a guy and then i said hi and it was weird but then the other guy randomly was all "do you throw?" and i was like... "yeeeeah... i was here for nine hours..." and he's all "oh. what's yours?" and he had me point out my stuff in the damp room and he showed me what he made and i was like... uh... yes. why are you showing me this. and then i got outside and he showed me the mugs he made that were drying. it was so random that he randomly showed me the stuff. we'd never talked before. i just knew john from the first day of school.

i was gonna go home this weekend and to san fran on sunday but i totally didn't feel like it so i think i'm gonna check out the mall (if i can figure out how to get... damn it! i forgot to check the bus map. damn damn damn... uh... i'm still in the parenthesis... i'll get out now) and see if i can get a job i guess over the weekend and catch up (ha) on reading. cuz... i haven't started. and i'm supposed to be 3 chapters in on each of my books. there's three. eh heh. betty is skewed.

my stress/depression bump thing on my arm is back. neil's fault. i miss him.

i got me a boyfriend sweatshirt on valentine's day. see, i always wanted a sweatshirt from my boyfriend. but sucky for me, the ones i've had either don't wear sweatshirts or... yeah. that's it. and so since i don't have one now, i don't have one to give me a sweater... so i got an oversized thing to give the alluuuuuuuusion that i got it from my "boyfriend." i'm just saying i got it from chris. he's my husband, anyway.

i feel bad. i didn't call bao yesterday. *sigh* birthdays suck. too much to keep tabs on them. speaking of bao... i had this random dream with nammie. it was like... he was downstairs in our dorm, but it wasn't the DORM. it was the "dorm"... the one that was fabricated in my dream. yeah. and then... it was weird. and there were lucky charms and gymnastics and a birthday party and my dad's old house and... blue playdoe. too bad i can't put all that back together to how it was a dream... we'll just all be confused now won't we. yup.

me and my dreds OH! i TOTALLY forgot. i did my hair in dreds on valentine's day. yeah. picture. uh huh.


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