March 9, 2004


4:08 PM

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great how it's 80 billion degrees. i'm hating it. so yeah. meds are hating me too. welbutrin has started giving me night sweats. i wake up and have soaked through the comforter. jon will be hot too and he'll fan the blankets and then i'll freeze to death and my stomach will hurt from the sudden shock of cold. but now it's hot too. it was 82 degrees in the home when we came home last night at 7pm. poor nosy bear :( he was dying.

dr. smith, the dr. that works at jie's work, cares, who doesn't get paid by me but who has agreed to see me anyway and give me meds, has failed to renew my perscription for effexor. so i was almost out and it was bad. he gave me samples instead. he refilled my welbutrin and respirdal, but not the effexor. the one drug that i NEED or i hurt, and he forgets. oh well... like i said, he gave me samples to last a week or two more. so yeah. meds. can't have alcohol or welbutrin will put me in a coma. discovered last week that i can't have caffeine either, not sure which drug, maybe all of them. i got these horrid migraines. i still hurt. shit. there's children wailing everywhere. i'm dying. it is so hot and i'm in this constant uncomfortable humid state of warmth. it's very painful.

i'm back to 105 or so now so there goes all my weight loss... it's getting hot as all fuck tho so i can start swimming again. that'd be good. i need more exercise. jon has gained 10 pounds. he used to be around 125 and now he's close to 140 almost. gettin' rounded. but i still love him. more to hug and love. squishy goodness. i love his belly. and his butt. mee hee. cracks me up. oop! hee hee. crack. get it? CRACKs me up? butt CRACK? eh heh? nevermind.

i finished updating all of the files at my job already. now there's not much for me to do. i can dilly dally i guess. i also reorganized all of the dead files they have in the other room. damn it it sucks to be efficient. oh well. that means i can do homework whenever i go in on the weekends instead of work and it'll look like i've worked.

ok, way for people to get out of a room and crowd around the door where i'm sitting. how annoying. hello?! little asian on the ground! yeah, move it bitches.

i'm slowly working my way to making it on time to anthropology. i really need to step up and work on it. i'm trying to apply for scholarship(s) so i can study abroad next spring in florence. it's such a pain in the ass. fafsa asks for fucking everything. i don't understand why it still wants my parents' income. dude, what if i'm independent? if you're not married, orphaned, over 24, of a vet from the war, you're considered a dependent. that's so fuckin whacked. pissed off. god damn it my head hurts like fuck. i need to get off of the computer. my head. hurts. excedrin didn't even help. i'm dying. kill me. please. kill. die.

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