may 1, 2001; tuesday

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i have a pimple. it's the size of a grapefruit. really. can't show it here but here's a link.

i'm gassy now. my tummy's just full of gas. it hurts so much. i didn't eat enuf today and now my head hurts and i feel to sick to eat. i want a tube that i can stick in to my tummy to let all the air out. do those people that have to crap out of their tummies get indigestion?

i like button fly jeans. i went really hyper today. all i ate was lunch, then cookies and white rabbit candy. oh god was i hyper. went insane in lab. it was fun. came back and i've been on a quest for guy lines. i love them. pelvic lines and backs. *drooool*... fetishes of mine. i love them. and kev just had me discover that i like that front of the neck too... where the lymph hits the collar. oo. nice. so i got a few pics of that and i'm gonna start drawing. got a new drawing book today. kev inspired me to get a charcoal book for drawing.

i learned to punch today. yesterday i punched the wall and i hurt my nuckle. hitting people is way better. it's softer but not so soft like a pillow so it does some venting. i feel so damned sick. it sucks. i wanna puke. but i think just massive burping and farting'd do it. but i can't do that. nothing else is coming back. it's all way in my tummy. :( owwweeeeee...

chris from ceramics came over today. neil looked jealous. he was mean to me again today. yesterday he was in a seriously good mood and was nice to me. it was weird. but i knew it wasn't gonna last long. and it didn't. ate lunch and hung out a bit with chris and then we went to our classes at 1:30pm. he's coming over again thursday. he has time between his two classes... 10-1:30. i was supposed to draw him but i didn't. i can't draw realistic. what's he thinking. i'll make him look... eeeewy.

ok... so i let neil know just now that i tested negative for hiv and he gave met his look like "ok, so? you're a lame ass. go to hell" and rolled his eyes and went back to his room an mad. wtf? i thought that it'd be good to tell someone that so that they'd know they were safe... um... oh well. i guess i just won't talk to him anymore like i planned.

so now i'm not going to talk to nick or neil. i'm talking to noah and nathan tho. what other n's are there... don't think there's anymore... damn all the n's. make life all complicated like. pooey. oh well. i think i'm gonna sleep now. i'm tired. hypersurges really suck the life out of me.

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