july 9, 2001; monday


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12:15pm

hi. i'm betty. i'm a showeraholic...
i can't stop showering! well... i can. but if i feel at all sticky i jump in the shower. i've been averaging 3 showers a day. i'm obsessed with it. i'm loving my showers and depending on them. i love feeling all fresh and clean. so fresh and so clean... damn i hate that song. but yeah. that's become my new problem/obsession. but i guess it's an ok one.

i'm volunteering at the suicide hotline. saturday and sunday were training days. it was pretty interesting. i think i'm going to enjoy this if it works out for me. big (huge) kitty, karma, was sitting on my lap. he's so cute. i've started working again. i'm gonna be super buff from it. lifting heavy ass books all day... well not really. 12-4pm. but i'm loving it. afterwards i'm sweaty as hell tho as if i'd just been working out for ages.

jon'd been coming over a lot and keeping me company and i kept thinking about him. so we watched a few movies and he stayed over a few nights and we've hooked up. it's kinda... really weird. i mean... he's... jon. i'm used to being all giddy and cuddly and close to him but now... i'm dating jon. it's just weird. he's super great tho. he calls me a lot and lets me know he cares and i can talk to him. it's weird... i keep saying that don't i. yes i do. well yeah. i'll most likely talk about jon more now so i'll just stop saying weird now and move on to the next paragraph thing.

talked to chon for the first time on the phone yesterday. he's this guy that read my journals and looked at my page and stuff and then started emailing me. he's such a freak. he wants to meet me... ohmigod i'd die before that. (i'm SO kidding chon ;).) yeah. i know he reads this all the time and yesterday he brought up how i talk about other people so i thought i'd tease him ;) i'm so funny. ha ha. i make me laugh. yes. riight. whatever.

i got bored yesterday and opened up powerpoint (i was playing with microsoft2000 and was trying to find a program to use to make up an address book and then i gave up and looked at powerpoint) cuz all these teachers nowadays (including the suicide training dude) have been using that program for shows and stuff and i remember they all talk about "i'm still taking classes and learning how to use it..." and so i looked to see if i could figure it out. ok, could it be easier? you find a template. the template is labeled "place text here" "double click to place image here" and it's like... hell-oooo... how easy is it? superly. so i made a slideshow of hell. yup. i always go "that's cute as hell!" or "that's lame as hell..." and... well... hell isn't really cute or some of the things i say so i just made a slideshow of saying i use with hell and it's all "hell is..." and then pictures of me (the pictures that are on that o.d.ed page of head shots of me) or else my sister, cousin, stuffed animals, kitty, whatever. i'm gonna try to incorporate all my buddies in there.

i like how chris ended up being like all the "others" and said he'd like to hang out and stuff but whenever i call he doesn't answer (he has caller id) and never calls back or whatever. it's not like i call all the time... once every two weeks to see if i can talk to him. so i called him today and left him a happy birthday message and i'm not calling him again. i'll see him at school and see what happens then.

anywhoo. bored now. i think i'll go stick my cow in the washer (he needs a cleaning so bad...ly... badly. yeah.) and then paint some. i hate my painting. it's ugly.

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