september 29, 2000; friday


rant: hello all. and to you, rich, who hates me and wants nothing to do with me yet visits my page everyday and signs my guest book and emails me but oh, doesn't want me to respond because he's getting on with his life? well. here's my response to your emails:

date: 9/25/00 subj: (no subject)

read your guestbook. Don't email me back. Don't IM me. c ya
see me, eh? when? oh. soon i hope! cuz i REALLY want to see you and talk all about the wonderful things happening in my wonderful life with YOU, rich!

date: 9/27/00
subj: Don't do that.

Ahem. I remember telling you not to e mail me. You make me really angry, Betty. i know i do. i'm a bitch. i told you before and i tell you now. you knew it before too. so why didn't you believe me? oh... that's sounds familiar... i won't go there now. I don't know what to say. I saw what happened to you, and thought you would finaly understand what was going on with me. So I take you off my block list, and try to talk to you. You imediately ast upset because I'm not sympathetic to you're problems. when was this? what problems? How dare you expect my sympathy? i never asked for your sympathy. i never ask for sympathy. and i don't ever EVER expect anything. EVER. you know i don't either. You pulled the same thing. I've been through all your problems. You caused it remember. What goes around, comes around, Betty. You got what you deserved. ok. look. we never went out. we talked for about two weeks. then you confess saying you love me. uh... no. i tell you i'm not attracted to you. you respond by saying i'm not believing you, and you truly do love me, and blah blah blah. then i don't respond back still. so you get upset and bitter. i go with other guys and have flings. so i'm a slut and a bitch. bennett helped established that. i know what i am. so what. it's my life. you get jealous and say stuff as if i cheated on you. we were NEVER TOGETHER in the first place. you keep forgetting that. You are not going to get any sympathy from me. You've used up all of your chances. I don't want to hear from you ever again. You are nothing more than a horible memory. Have Amity email me to warn me if you're coming up here. didn't see you last time, why would i if i went up again. not like i go looking for you. unless you hang around amity's dorm or something. I don't want you near me. don't worry, i'm two hours away You've done enough. uh huh Good bye. bye!! Rich.

date: 9/27/00
subj: P S

Don't say fuck so much, you look bad in your letters.
this is my fucking rant page. i can say fuck as much as i fucking want, fucker. and it's your choice to read it. did i make you come here? no. did i ask you to? no. have i talked to you in a month? no. have i tried to contact you to "torture" you? no. fuck fuck fuck. fuuuuckly fuckish fuckaroodee fuck. i don't give a fuck how i "look" here. it's my rants of feelings and what i'm thinking. that's why it's my RANT page. fuck.

date: 9/28/00
subj: Get it right please

I don't care if you call me a dick on the internet, but at least give the right reason. I don't know why you think my last point was about justin. I had used what you wrote about justin to show you just how hypocritical you are. Here you yell at Erica for not apreatiating Justin's feelings, when all last summer you couldn't care less about my feelings. You just flew to Chicago. (That bugged him. "Yeah, Betty's coming over here next week, but it's cool, I'll just dich her with my friends. I mean she's cool and all, but how much Betty can I take") You picked the right guy. So anyways, I just want to make that one clear, I'm not talking about Justin, just comparing you and Erica, using your words. Have fun in Sac, Rich.
oo ouch. talking about zach not wanting me. oh. pain. really. that hurt. riiiight... there. uh huh. my foot. you're not understanding... i'm feeling bad for justin. i'm not going thru it. thank god i'm not going thru it. and once again. justin and erica? they've been in a relationship. RE-LAY-SHUN-SHIP. three years. 3... THUH-REEEEEE years. YEARS. are you getting this? ok. and you didn't really give me everything in the world. you tried everything to get me, maybe, but... not everything to make me happy. guilt tripping, calling me names, talking about me behind my back, making me feel like shit... those aren't things girls WANT. and i may not be a typical "girly girl," but i sure as fuck know that girls don't want that guilt shit. stop coming to my page if it's bothering you so much. geeze.

journal: i went to bed last night. yup. NIGHT. 11pm, thankooveddymooch. it was great. well... the 27th night. i'm still thinking it's thrusday. i started reading english and was like... uh... no. put it down and went to bed. woke up smashed against the wall so i pushed neil over (didn't wake up... big lug :) tee hee.) and i was comfy. slept the night thru. it was nice sleeping the night. then i was awaken by neil at 8:30am for class at 9am and then jeremy starting singing at the top of his lungs "kiss from a rose." it was hilarious. he was asleep when he started singing too. whoo. good stuff. finally got out after neil pushed me out of the bed and ca called to wake me up. got my butt to ceramics for the first time in two weeks. it was fun. glazed my four or five things. excting stuff. made a bowl too. oral interp. was hard. i kept falling asleep. came back to the dorms and slept. was GOING to go the bank... but didn't get up till 7pm. oops. so then ca, neil, and i went to cpk (california pizza kitchen) and i got the philly cheese steak pizza again. holy god that stuff is soooo good. then i went and got a choco chip cheese cake from max's. heaven. oh yeah. can only eat it with your fingers tho. going home tomorrow. today i mean. it's jie's birthday!!!! happy birthday jie!!!!!!!!! neil's driving me and ca. so nice :) 3pmish i guess. then ca and i are gonna get the car and drive to some places and look for a (blop) for (bleeg). hopefully we can find one. haven't been able to. i swear they've dissappeared from the face of this earth. stupid (blop)s. grr. anyway. so i showered and the same thing happened as it did for ca. the thermometer went "beeerrrrrrONGGGGGGG" and went below 0 and then ice was falling and i went "EEEE!" and then gave the thermometer an evil look and it shuddered and went up back to normal. so then i finished my shower. and here i am now. goodnight.

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