xanga: Thursday, December 09, 2004

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3:40 AM

Oh good god I need a good rant... but I can't... I feel so shitty... I have a picture I took of my new teddy bear sweater thing... it's a thing from Gap I got. It's fuzzy on the inside but the arms aren't, so when I zip it up my trunk is all poofy like a bear but the arms are tiny and I thought I'd look hella stupid but then I looked in the mirror and the light pink and the bundled up and poofy... I just looked so huggable. I had to get it. Aaaaand ofcourse today there was markdowns and the f'ing coat went half off. And employees can't get price adjustments. Pisser.

Saw "Love, Actually" two times last week and "Saved" yesterday. Good stuff. I want to start using "Bugger off" all the time now. It's so funny. I love English people.

Crushes? Yeah, they suck. Suck suck suck. Yeah. I know. I can't really say anything about it... but I just want to explode. It makes me so mad at myself. Why am I having a crush. I have a boyfriend of nearly 3.5 years now (it was 3 years and 5 months on the 7th...) Damn it Finger Eleven is stuck in my head. I'll say it's playing. Anyway. So this guy I have a crush on... I can't get him out of my head. Pisses me off. Cuz I work with the f'er. Yeah, how sucky is that. Oh, it gets better, he's one of my supervisors. And it's weird as all hell, cuz everyone knows that Betty digs the pale scrawny white boy, right? Well this guy's a scraggly Japanese guy. Where did that come from. I hate Asian guys. And you know, at first I didn't even know if he was straight. He's got a little lisp thing going on and he dresses really well... hell, he works at the Gap for Pete's sake, how was I supposed to know if he's straight or not... but then he talked about an ex girlfriend and a colleague of mine says he's got a current gf. OK so good, he's taken. But yes I still ponder... STOP IT STOP IT! I feel like such a schizo. I want to stop liking him, and so I'm thinking ... OK, I'll avoid him. I got over past boyfriends by avoiding, ignoring, and blocking them out of my life. But no, I work with this guy, and ofcourse he has to be the best manager we have since he's fun and lets us listen to music and jokes around and so I even volunteer to work on days I don't have to. Then I'm like "OK, I'll hide out in this corner" but then he'll walk by and AAAUUUUGH why am I writing this my brother subscribes to my Xanga. Sht. Oops. I'll just... take out an I. I didn't swear. Really. Damn it. I hate being a girl. I better stop while I'm behind...

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