here we go again... the question. this time it's just a simple question. not so simple answer tho... see what i mean by the answers i've gotten so far

first off... the question:

"what do you consider to be 'cheating?'" (on a girlfriend/boyfriend)
i.e.: kissing, smiling, talking, anything physical, mental thoughts...


REPLIES: 28
alan|bao| carol|catherine| chui|dale| dan b.|dan t.| erick|flea| greg|harold| heather s.|jim b.| john|katie s.| keith|kornz| mathilde|matt b.| menk|naomi| nathan|rishard| sam|ssu| stephanie|vince

chui: Hey this is Chui - I believe that the definition of "cheating" can be different from girl to girl. There is absolutely no way a guy can control his thoughts - something with the testosterone. I tell my GF whenever I have crazy thoughts like that and she seems okay with it. It's funny - with girls.. if a guy tells them he dreams about naked women it isn't as bad as if he dreams about kissing women with clothes on. I have no personal relations with that.... but i'm sure it's true. Saw it on a Friends episode so it must be... Some guys bitch if their girls talk to other guys or if other guys flirt with their girlfriends - but I don't really care. I suppose it is all a matter of trust, you know? If I didn't trust her I would probably be vexed whenever a guy let her borrow his sweatshirt or "smiled" at her, but it really doesn't bother me. It isn't like I own her for gods sake. However, I do believe that I would have some mixed feelings if she started flirting with other guys (talking like a ditz, throwing herself into other guys' arms) but I wouldn't be piping angry. Just worried. I am not an angry person..... I think that if my gf kissed another guy anywhere that would definitely be cheating. Kissing is a sign of affection. Now, if her best guy friend and they had gotten accomodated to hugging/kissing before I came along (unless they were seriously making out....) I probably wouldn't mind.

I am not a jealous guy. I understand females can be the most jealous people in the world *cough cough* ahem who told me that?
A final thought - if I was part of a double date and my gf started scratching another guy's wrist..... that would piss me off.
- Much love, Chui

rishard: cheating? i think thoughts and whatnot are all fair game. kissing is the big no-no. easy rules of thumb, eh? of course even saying certain things can be considered cheating too. especially if you imply to someone else that something could go on between ya. sky folk.

kornz: Personally if one thinks that thoughts of cheating, smiling at someone or talking to someone is cheating then that person is very paranoid and going to end up getting hurt. TO me cheating is PASSIONATE kissing (not just a pec on the cheek), making out, groping or anything beyond 1st base... -kornz

flea: For me, 'cheating' is kissing (basically anything physical), mental thoughts (about a celebrity? I couldn't care less, but about another person our age, that she knows, or I know...yes, that's cheating). Also, going out some place with another guy on her free time is IMO (in my opinion) cheating. Now, that may sound controlling, but if you are in my position, you would understand. I rarely get to see her, because of her parents...I can't control that. Thus, I feel as though, if you have time to see another guy, or are able to get out of the house to see some other guy instead of when you could see me, that is cheating. However...I AM a VERY jealous person...that, I can't help..but she knows that full well. Talking, smiling (unless it's a flirty smile sorta thing...you know, smile, tilt the head, wave...you know what I mean!)...those sorts of things aren't cheating. Talking COULD be cheating depending on what the conversation is about, but just general talking shouldn't be cheating. heya, when I said mental thoughts... I mean like mental thoughts about wanting to be with the person, or thinking about something pysical (ie kissing) with the person... just thinking that some other guy or girl is cute, ok...whatever, yunno? =) oki... also, I guess this wouldn't be cheating, but DAMN DOES IT MAKE ME JEALOUS AS HELL!!! If someone were to go up and hug her, the blood inside of me would be boiling!! Because.....as you know...I am mega super duper califragelistic ispialidocious jealous! (however u spell that thing anyway)

-jq

jim b.: I would consider the start of cheating is flirting with the intention of "getting somewhere" (i.e. kissing, making out, etc..) with another individual.

dan b.: thoughts.

~dan burke

catherine: i would have to say kissing would be the mark of cheating...
you can give hugs and hold and and even cuddle but not like the person romantically..

john: just looking is cheating!!!
:oP

katie s.: I must say that it definately becomes cheating once the line of mental thoughts is crossed...and it becomes anything physical (kissing included of course!)
   -your cousin Katie xoxoxo

matt: it is not cheating when you are with another girl. it's ok to hug or flirt or do stuff together alone (nothing sexual obviously, just movies and crap) but when you get down to kissing and making out and further...that's cheating.
~matt

ssu: I think cheating is anything that is any physical affection whatsoever. Fantasies and Mental images are perfectly fine because you cannot really control that, but anything physical, like kissing, and hugging (besides a FRIENDLY hug) is not permissible.
--SSu

menk: Well I'm assuming this is an "exclusive" relationship... so I'd say any sign of taking steps to show love for the other person. So if a person's idea of wanting to get closer to the other person is a nice date, then that's cheating. If the person is just one of those super friendly people and accompany other women to certain events or something, then that's not cheating. Then there's the definitely cheating category. Long slimey kisses, and I don't believe there's such thing as just-friendly sex after marriage. Mental thoughts don't count because guys will always be guys (and vice versa... I guess) and talking or acting flirty doesn't even count either, as long as they don't intend to take it any further. That goes back to that guy thing with the hormones and all. I mean, guys don't suddenly become like... I dunno.. selectively asexual or something after they fall in love with a girl, cuz they still got hormones and stuff, as long as they know taking it further's just wrong.
Menk

dale: Cheating on someone is where you are going out with someone, then start to like someone else also, and then do something to try and further the new relationship with the new person. Small things like smiling and casual talking is ok. Becoming good friends is ok. But you know in your mind exactly what you are trying to do.

vincent: Well now, that's an interesting question. I'd have to say kissing and anything beyond that. Hugging is ok. Smiling is ok. Talking is ok. Passive thoughts are ok, but kissing and anything past that is cheating. That's my opinion. I don't know about others. Wow. What a fun game. Do that more often. Catch ya later. From the man with the sexiest hair.
Vincent

ca: hmm ok. i'd think "cheating" would be like.. kissing and such (such: more than kissing) i think like.. hugging in a friendly manner and stuff like that is just fine. not groping and stuff, that's more than hugging. oh, and i guess friendly kissing is ok. like a quick peck and stuff between good guy friend and girl friend people. yeah. that's ok. not making out tho.. yeah, you get the point. smiling.. everyone smiles at people. looking..there are people everywhere! what are you going to do, go around town blindfolded? mental thoughts.. hmm, i don't think that's cheating. cuz you're still with the person, right? not like you act out your mental thoughts and stuff. mmhmm. there's my answer. =)

greg: depends on how they were kissing and engaging in other sexual intercourse...that's cheating

mat: I think that cheating on someone is anytime you break the bond of love, trust, faith, and friendship that two people share when they are together by any means including kissing, mental thoughts, or any act that leads to breaking the bond that two people who are in love share.
~mat

dan t.: Cheating is a very relative term, depending on the status and communications of a relationship. Sleeping with someone else is obviously cheating, of course, if two people are cool with that, great for them. Depending on each persons' jealousy level, tolerance level, and experience level, cheating could range from a stay thought to a hug to a passionate kiss or to the hibbidy dibbidy. Okay maybe I'm wrong, sue me.

zillie: Hmm, kissing accompanied by enjoying the kissing, polite kisses don't count.
L()vE

xStephaniex =:O)

keith: When you pee on another person.

alan: When ya know it ...

bao: cheating: Anything physical without the GF/BF's knowledge.
That's it. It's not cheating until someone ACTS upon his/her thoughts, so fantasies about other guys/girls doesn't count.
The relationship is failing somewhere if one is constantly thinking about "that other someone." If the person isn't acting upon these thoughts, it's not cheating. Loyalty is admirable, but in that case, it's time to break up.
That's my very generalized definition of "cheating."I realize this definition is easily arguable either way.
Bao

sam:kissing and above thoughts will always be there and people like to smile >and your going to talk to someone of the opposite sex sooner or latter so >it has to be kissingf and above. at least in my perpective.

naomi: (dang, it had to be btwn gal/boyfriend, eh? husband/wife is easier...)
anything physical is "cheating"--not like a quick hug or a punch in the arm, but definitely kissing, or let's just say any of the bases that people would generally refer to when "getting it on" w/ someone. Talking is ok but flirting isn't; smiling is fine--some just can't get that grin off their faces--and mental thoughts are somewhat acceptable. accidental mental thoughts can slide b/c you really didn't mean it and you couldn't help it but fantasies are not nice--you wouldn't want your man dreaming about Pamela Lee while you're with him, wouldya? and basically if you do stuff (like you would on a normal date) with someone else while you're with someone, that's bad.
so yeah, that's my take on it.

erick: hey this is erick
ok
cheating huh?... well since i DO have a gf now.. which i adore, i would say that "cheating" would include kissing, anything physical beyond that, hugs and all are ok... ummm mental thoughts.. everyone is gonna have mental thoughts.. even if they have a supermodel "significant other" so that's ok in my mind... ummm lying would be cheating, especially if they lied to go out with someone else. cheating, in my mind, means anything that would hurt my other, and as long as i love her, i will never to anything in my own free will to hurt her. cuz if she did that to me... i'd be a wreck

harold: What do I consider cheating. Well smiling and talking are far from cheating as you can get. Mental thoughts aare not considered cheating becausethey are just thoughts, unless you act on your thoughts. Kissing is in the red zone because it is really easy to cross over to that cheating side. If you just kiss someone than that is cool and not cheating. Once you cross the line from kissing someone to making out then you are cheating. Flirting also has a fine line and can also be referred to the kissing part. Anything physical for the most part yes, but there are always a few exception.

nathan: this may be late, but i read the rest and got interested..
"what do you consider to be 'cheating?'" (on a girlfriend/boyfriend) i.e.: kissing, smiling, talking, anything physical, mental thoughts...
kissing: yes
smiling: no (unless of course that smile is followed by the guy coming up and flirting and there is flirting back and so forth)
talking: no (unless it's sexual talking.. of any sort really.. also talking about cheating.. that kinda stuff)
mental thoughts: there will always be mental thoughts, expecially with guys.. but with this i get jealous of.. but in general it's not so bad.. i just don't like it.
in general, there are the 4 F's i believe. french, feel, finger, fuck. (coordinates with the 4 bases) reaching any one of these is cheating. french entails normal kissing as well. a peck on the check is alright, a hug is alright (not a passionate hug, or a looong hug)
that's all i have to say about that..

   

   

   


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