first off... the question:

Say you're in a relationship which is all peaches and cream (unless you don't like peaches and cream... then it'll be... um... pickles and ice cream... I dunno. Something good.) and you're getting along great. Little do you know... your special someone is (*dun dun DUN!!!!*) cheating on you. Now, you DON'T suspect a thing. It's not like they're sneaking around and not there all the time and strange fe/males are calling your place asking for him/her or their friends keep calling you some other person's name. Nothing like that. It's just... your person IS sneaking around... but still giving you what you need in your relationship.

"Would you rather your person (1) tell you he/she is cheating on you, or (2) stay how it is... after all... YOU dunno anything's up." Afterall... what you don't know can't hurt you... right? (remember... YOU'RE being cheated on. you're NOT the cheater)


REPLIES: 19
tell me!: 10        i don't wanna know...: 1        i'm not really gonna answer: 8

aarika|adrienne|andrew|dale|ed|erika|frank|frost|greg|jake|jie|joe|keith|kevin|kornz|matt|nick p|nick w|phoebe|sam|vincent|zach

jacob: "depends how serious you are with the person. if you plan on keepen em around for a while then they better tell you almost everything- if you guys arn't so intamit and/or don't think you'll last more than a few months then who really cares as long as you don't get weird STDs or end up having to own up to a kid you didn't help make?"

kevin: "Betty, to put an answer to your quandry, one must have honesty in a relationship to constitute trust. If there is no honesty, how can one possibly hope to pursue a meaningful commitment? If it were me, I'd have to fess up and throw down with the bad four - eleven. peace out.
~kev

P.S. Yes, I'd want to know."

frost: "if i didn't know it'd depend on one thing, if it was a relationship that i thought would be permanent or as nbear as dangit then i would have to know. if not then as long as i don't know (no, i have no idea what tsg wrote...)"

nick: "kick their [butt] to the curb
-nick
um... right nick... riiight..."

aarika: "Hey, I think that's a great question with as many of us getting into relationships in college and stuff . . . ANYWAY, I personally would rather know that the person was cheating on me that way I could leave them. I don't think anyone should put up with being cheated on. Everyone deserves the best in the world and the best isn't someone that goes else where to get some (or even sometimes none). I also think that if they told you and you wanted to stay with them, you could at least find out why he/she was cheating so that it could get resolved and you could live happily ever after. I know that my past boyfriends have cheated on me and didn't tell me and it made me that much more bitter when break-up-day came. Honesty and truth is the key to any successful relationship. But that's just me. I look forward to hearing what other people think.
~Aarika Beth .
"

nick p: "Tell me. Realtionships can't work without honesty. Honesty is everything. If they letcha know, then you can work through it. Either way, though, it's a lose-lose situation, because the trust has been broken. At least they're not lying about it..."

menk: "1."

greg: "First of all, I'm going to choose Betty and Cream. It's just so much better than peaches and cream. Anyhow, I'd rather the person tell me, it's better to know than to not know. Then I'd like yea, depending on my mood, and what she's done w/ the guy, I'd decide to stay or leave. But yea, Betty and Cream, so much better hehe :-p.
Well, that's my answer to the question. Or mebbe I can't think coherently right now... but I'm sure about the betty and cream.
"

phoebes: "it of course all depends on how they are cheating on you: if it's like a whole 'nother relationship, that they might plan on pursuing then i would definitely want to know, because if i have the high probability of being dumped then i wanna know so i don't get even more attached ... BUT if it's a one time kinda thing, or has no future then i think i would probably be happier not knowing... but when in doubt tell the truth!!!!!!!"

Joe: "well, Id like to know the truth, then I would dump her ass. Nooge.
~Kiyoshi"

andrew: "my answer is i'd kill her and depending on whether the guy is innocent or not, i'll kill him or beat him to an inch of his life. :-)"

zach: "I would have to go with (1). If you think about this phrase:
'what you don't know can't hurt you... right?'
you have to think of the following scenario (which DID NOT HAPPEN TO ME BY THE WAY!!!)
'My special someone was cheating on me with a guy, but wasn't telling me and I didn't suspect a thing. In the meantime I was completely devoted to her, and she was the only one I had been with for years. Then I went to the doctor and found out I have AIDS. I got it from her, who got it from the men she was cheating on me with. ...of course I didn't know about it before, so it wasn't supposed to hurt me.'
"

vince: "Well, I'd want to know. That couldn't be the healthy relationship you're talking about if there's cheating going on.
Vinny
"

kornz: "O would rather he/she told me because Honesty is one of the most important things in a relationship...
-kornz

matt: " My girlfriend just ended our relationship cause she was cheating on me. Now i really really don't like her. Yes, I wish she never would have told me cause what you don't know can't hurt you. Now our friendship is ruined because of it. I hate people who cheat.
Matt
"

erika: "This is a really hard one to answer... I am in a wonderful relationship right now, and I think it would really break my heart to know if he had been cheating on me... but, in the long run, I would rather know. I would prefer to be in a relationship where the person would respect me enough to be honest. It takes a lot of courage to tell someone something like that. Even though I would respect that step, I would have to end the relationship then and there. I have had two guys that I cared about very much cheat on me. They both told me. One I broke up with... the other I forgave, and he just did it again. Even though it hurt like mad, I would prefer to know... especially if there were intense feelings involved.
-Erika Hendel
"

sam: " well first i believe i would have to know what sort of relationship i mean if she thought of us as just fuck friends then i wouldnt mind but i mean its hard to have that sort of thing cause one perosn will always start liking someone else. Anyways it depends how serious and whats already been happening in the relationship. I would like to know but only if it was tackfuly done not like ohh hi there i'm going to dump your ass to go out with your friend over here. but i would still like to know cause knowledge is power and ignorence kills. Samuel P."

keith: " The answer is simple... start cheating on him/her as well. ;-) What they don't know that you know wont hurt them or you, and what they don't know wont hurt them either."

jie: " you don't really want me to answer that do you? (it's up to you) ok. cuz i just think the question is stupid."

ed: " Think you should dump him and marry me!"

adrienne: " I think I'd probably want to know, but I've never been in a "relationship," so I really don't know. I just know, if I had the choice, I'd be a lesbian. Which doesn't really take care of the question, but it would make a lot of things more appealing to me."

dale: "Pickles and ice cream?? omg.. u got a dirty mind haha =) Did you guys commit to each other? I mean, are you guys basically going out? Most likely I would want them to tell me. If he is a true Mack daddy, then he's giving you and the other gurl enough attention so that it seems as though he's not sneaking around. If he leaves any openings he wants you to find out and to end it with him, so that now he has his chance with the other gurl. Sometimes he'll give hints. But if he's not doing it, then he wants to say.. hey I have two chicks. It all depends on how much you like him. If he's been there for you, been great to you, and you love him a lot. Then I would say just confront him about it, and see if you two should still be together. Don't allow it to go on. If he's not your everything, then just leave him. But it all depends on the relationship."

   

   

   


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